Adam has told us on multiple occasions that our interviews are helping him. He has been very forthcoming and honest with his feelings and descriptions of what he is going through, both the good and the bad.
A recent comment shared with us stated that I was projecting a “happy-Shaman image” on Adam. I can understand this comment.
Adam has shared some of his life experiences and traumas with me that we have not shared on this blog for fear that it could possibly compromise him or his relationships with those around him. This is the largest challenge I face. How do I tell a story about someone in a way that is completely honest and informative while being sensitive not to expose things that may be hurtful to those involved? Right now I’m having a hard time doing that.
Adam, by nature, does his best to be as upbeat and positive as he can, but he does have days when his anxiety makes it very difficult for him to interact with anyone, especially someone making a film about him.
In addition to my past concerns about breaking the ‘fourth wall’ and helping Adam, I’m faced with a larger challenge: How do I make sure we don’t hurt him by making his very personal story public? The stigmatization facing a person going through a spiritual transformation like Adam’s significantly adds to the problem. I would never want my documentary to cause anyone to experience further stigmatization as a result of sharing their story. It’s one thing to put your story before the public after you have gone through the process and come out the other end with a positive outcome much like Eleanor Longden did in her recent TED talk. It’s quite another to be putting your story out there while you are still, like Adam, trying to sort things out. As Eleanor says, her first ‘fatal mistake’ was when she let a friend know she was hearing voices.
Hopefully, in time, Adam’s traumas will heal. Until then, I encourage you to ask us any questions you may have about his story and we will answer them with the full respect of Adam and his family in mind.
Evan
From watching Eleanor Longden’s TED presentation a couple of times, it seems clear that her experience was mostly subjective and indicative of a dissociative personality disorder. She was eventually able to view these voices as coming from inside of herself and gained some control of them using compassion and discernment. Now, she is a psychologist and I would call what she does a form of shamanism. Adam’s experiences may go beyond simply hearing voices in his head and he may even have objective experiences like when heat came from his hands and Phil felt it. It is important to keep in mind that Adam is not Eleanor Longden nor is he necessarily a shaman and he shouldn’t be stigmatized by saying that his mental problems can only be cured by medication (which he already found out that they can’t) or that he is something other than what he is.
It is important to make the distinction between objective and subjective experiences when dealing with issues of Inner Experience. Objective experiences are usually things that can be proven amongst people. Some of our subjective experiences like feelings of happiness or anger are objective in the sense that we can describe them to other people and other people will agree that happiness and anger exist and are justified in certain situations. This is an example of how we form identity within community – finding other people with similar experiences and talking about them. If someone has no previous experience of God before a spiritual crisis strikes (like Adam), they have no way of thinking about themselves – they don’t have any God identity so what they are experiencing seems disjointed and makes no sense. Spiritual exercises within organized religions or yogic systems like Sadhguru’s can help a person in psychological crisis reform their identity and deal with their psychic upheaval by placing their experiences within an acceptable paradigm. People view the blind faith aspects of religions as negative (and they should) but most of them contain useful exercises that can help people stabilize their inner worlds and they are objective in that way. Adam might try to find a spiritual discussion group in a church where people are open about their personal experiences with the Divine. Just by talking to those people, he might find that much of what he is experiencing is similar to what other people experience within their inner worlds but don’t normally talk about it. Most people like to do their religion within protected intimate settings where it is agreed that they won’t really talk about it after they leave that setting – they don’t want to be discussing spiritual issues at work or in pleasant conversation or integrate it into their everyday lives.
As far as dealing with prophetic voices (or guides), Adam could deal with them the way that Eleanor Longden did or he could consider them to be merely suggestions of things for him to contemplate rather than act upon. This recent interview of the Nechung Oracle (http://tibet.net/2013/07/16/national-spirit-advisor/) gives a good description of how spirit voices should be dealt with when Thupten Ngodup says that “They don’t simply rely on the prophecies of the Nechung Oracle. We follow a democratic process in exile. Everything is discussed in the parliament and the cabinet, and if they are not clear, or want to hear the opinions or prophecies of the Oracle, they will consult. Ultimately, the decision depends on them, not the Oracle.” (N.B. I was a bit reticent about providing a link to this interview because it touches on the self-immolations of some monks in Tibet. Thupten Ngodup is of the opinion that the self-immolations are acts of compassion – I consider any act of killing oneself to be an act of violence against humanity and God.)
Phil Borges
Again Evan I thank you for your comments an insights. They have certainly helped me gain a perspective on the inner worlds of individuals who venture out (either willingly or unwillingly) beyond our ‘world of agreement’.
Just for clarification in Adam’s case he does not hear voices like Eleanor has described.
Heather Price
It is interesting watching this unfold and seeing and appreciating the honest dilemma you have Phil in your delicate role of holding space for Adam to reveal himself so publicly in a safe and non-harming way.
It is interesting because as a counsellor and also an energy healing practitioner and trainer I find myself frustrated at times in amongst the confidentiality and secrecy that goes with all of that – more so the counselling. There are many times when I would love to take a more public journey with my clients and share their healing process so others can benefit, and also for it to be seen how much seeking professional help can turn things around.
There are a number of my clients who choose to publicly expose their professional journey with me, in their own way, and I am grateful for that.
I commend the process you and Adam are sharing with us. I have referred a number of my students to this and other sites so they can see what they may encounter along their way in the healing and wellbeing field.
And… hearing voices – this can be seen and understood or misunderstood in so many different ways. It is my own experience of hearing voices and working with others who do that has enabled me to understand there are so many different ways to experience this. I would love to talk more about this another time.
For now, an inner voice is calling my attention into completion here.
Thank you
Heather
Phil Borges
Thank you for your very thoughtful and supportive comments. Yes, I think those who are brave enough, like Adam to allow their story to be shared publicly are such a gift to us all – especially in our western culture that places such a stigma on “mental illness”. I believe the stigmatization of the process is responsible for much of the problem. Our National Institute of Mental health has said 1 in 5 of us will experience a psychological crisis in our lifetime. That’s a whole lot of people to stigmatize!!